Yippee-Kai-Yai-Yay!

Whiew! The brownies were a SUCCESS!!!
AND not ONE yawn came from my mouth today!
I'm still pondering, but beginning to lean...maybe...
I'm listening.

Sleepless night, random thoughts

I was in bed last night, but not sleeping, dozing, but not sleeping. At one point, I had an unusual sense of heat & light coming from the west side of the room, which is not where either of those would come from, as our bedroom door is on the NE corner of the room. Along with that, I had a feeling of peace come over me, and the words "I am with you." It comforted me, not for what the decision about auxiliary will be, but for the process of making the decision.
I do feel rested, which is also miraculous, as I don't usually anyway on any given morning. We'll see how much yawning I do at work today, and how the brownies turn out for the kids. (I have managed to botch them in some way the two previous times I've made them, my husband says I'm just out of practice from at home, think he's trying to tell me something?)
I spent the night in prayer and thought, and it was good.

25 I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the
earth.
26 And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see
God;
27 I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my
heart yearns within me!

from Job 19:25-27

and Habakkuk 3:17-19:

17 Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though
the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep
in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the
LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

These are two of my favorite
passages along with Lamentations 3:19-24, but the whole chapter is my heart,

19 I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.

20 I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.

21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

Many of these passages have been set to music and have become
cherished hymns of the faith--although I've yet to see that done to the Habakkuk
chapter!

Anyway, I have a lot to pray about this week, I've been asked to
be on team for fall Cursillo as an auxiliary.

Peaceful week...relatively...

So here I am at the end of a relatively peaceful week. Okay, peaceful in that only the washcloth was a total loss, and only the cow & the canary that Mark & I had respectively didn't survive. Praise God! I'm grateful spring is here, hopefully to stay, thankful that we can have windows open night & day, and grateful that not ALL my tulips froze in the storm that happened after many of them had tried to come out. At least I got to see my favorite, the daffodils, flower!
I've filled a lot of my hanging baskets for the season, am enjoying watching the trees bud & leaf out. It's time to start preparing for graduation. Hard to believe that it has already been 14 years since we were expecting her. What a ride. She's a beautiful young lady, I have failed so often to enjoy her as I should. Lately, tonight included, she has been baby-sitting a lot. She's good at it, and gets called often. I'm proud of her. She's stoked, because today for the first time she got her contacts in. She's been trying to accomplish it for the last 2 years!

Decor

I've placed items on my walls that have been waiting for a long time to be filled... hope you enjoy visiting my kitchen!

Me & Moses

Our small group is studying Exodus. And besides the fact that I have studied the book in the past, I learn about myself every time. I can't help but put myself in Moses sandals, and I superimpose my voice over his in my "What are you THINKING?!?!?" tone of disbelief to God. Trying to see it through Moses's eyes is amazing--and I love it that Moses does put up a fuss about the thought of leading 500,000 or so people out of slavery. Often we get this picture of Moses feeling completely confident in all he does, and not at all worried about what it is God wants him to do. The fact is that Moses DOES care, and is GREATLY worried, and is probably shaking in his sandals over what is happening to his life. All he wants is to be able to mind his own business and tend the sheep, stay far away from the people who are out to kill him--since he DID murder someone in another country--and live his life in peace, when WHAM! God sets a bush on fire to get his attention and gives the course of his life a complete 180!
I get it that Moses would argue with God. I also get it that God would win. I get it that God tells him to rest assured, Moses won't be alone, God will go with him. He would have to! Without God's power, there's no way the Exodus would have taken place!
So why don't I get it that God promises to go with me through my life's journey? Why do I feel alone and isolated at times? God has called me to lead three great kids through their childhood and adolescence, and there's too often when I'm ready to throw in the towel and call it quits. I admit that I have "denied" being "Mom" to anyone come the end of the day--I've simply had it! But then there are my friends who God calls to come along side me pressing me on towards the goal, being the hands and feet of God.
Through their encouragement, through the promises I cling to from scripture, through Christ who gives me strength, I can say, "In Jesus' name, I press on!"

After nearly a year

I am so excited! After nearly a year after breaking my tooth (well, actually it was a post that was made from what was left of my tooth that I broke on the playground in 4th grade...) I will complete the process of having a dental implant placed and functioning! It will be AWESOME to be able to eat with a full set of teeth, and not to have to remove my "flipper" before I do so (I think it's called a flipper because every time one sneezes it threatens to flip right out of one's mouth)! I can enjoy a real meal conversation and the laughter that goes with it without embarrassment!
I did take advantage of my situation of being tooth free on Halloween by "bruising" my eye and wearing a hockey jersey to our church's Hallelujah Party.
After a long year including several dental visits beginning in May 2006 to initially re-attach what I had, then in June 2006 getting my original root pulled. In August, I received bone-grafting. In January a titanium post was implanted into my jaw and I was left with a button to cover the wound. NOW I'm looking forward to May 8, 2007 when I get the abutment post attached to the titanium one and the crown glued to it.
All this joy for a girl who is desperately panic stricken when it comes to the dental chair. I freely admit that I handle it poorly--with weeping and writhing (thank goodness for temporary sedatives!)
Anyway, bottom line is that I'm pumped!

Yaaaaaay!

after nearly a year, I am eager to go to the dentist tomorrow!!!! I'll be having impressions taken in order to have my new crown put in place. I plan to make the appointment to get it affixed for the MINUTE they get the crown back from the lab, even if its 2:00 in the morning! (Which of course it won't be since THEY won't be there but who's keeping track?)
I AM SOOOOOOOO EXCITED! Okay, mark this down, that I am actually looking forward to a dental visit--see earlier post--because they are NOT high on my list, and have been known to cause panic attacks in yours truly!
Anyway, my teenager is breathing over my shoulder for computer time so I'd better publish this and get off.
Until later!

Of teeth, soccer and teenagers

Well, yesterday my Leah had to get four of her precious baby teeth pulled. She was VERY nervous about it, but we have a brilliant dentist and she was surprised to discover that it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Now the tooth fairy is at work making the teeth grow money, as if those puppies haven't cost her enough already!
Peter enjoyed his first soccer game of the season last night. He's taken a few seasons off, but did very well, and thanks to what we can tell will be wonderful coaching, his team pulled off their first win. Saturday was his last basketball game, so we're diving into the next sports season head-on. I think this might be something I need to get used to with this active boy of mine.
Hannah spent her evening (from after school on) with a friend here. We like having friends over here, sharing our table for meals and becoming comfortable communicating with us as parents as well. I hope as she grows she will be welcomed into other's homes with equally open arms. It can get awkward when there's trouble within the family, but if we're not accepted warts and all, what's the point? And why try to pretend that no problems exist here when they're inevitable wherever one goes?

Wisdom Check

I got hit over the head this morning during church--again. So many times when I think I'm at my wit's end, I forget that I've already asked for the answers I need and I've been given the wisdom from God, through scripture, prayer and the wise counsil of friends...
James 1:5-8 (The Message) reads

If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.

So I get worried about whether or not I should do this or that big thing, and I don't need to! A wise friend recently told me, "Remember…what’s over your head is still under God’s feet." Great advice from an even greater friend!

worship reflections

Easter Sunday was amazing. God powerfully spoke to my heart and my heart sang back, along with my voice, my tears, and my hands. Apparently I looked like a wreck, but I haven't felt so completely immersed in worship in a long time. I think part of the reason is that I sometime look around in worship, and see others who aren't on the same plateau I am on and I either am jealous because I can see they're 'higher' than I am; or I'm wondering what their problem is, because they're not apparently as joy-filled as I am at the moment. Weird, I know, but I was just thinking about it so I had to get these thoughts down.
Oh, and save your fork, the best is yet to come! don't believe me? Look up Revelation 19:9 below...

Crazy life, crazy schedule

With an 8th grader about to graduate and move on to high school in another town, I think we might be getting a taste of what a hardship it will be to experience family time! For two nights in a row now, and for several nights within the last few weeks, we've not been able to sit down as a family for a meal. May I just say that I don't like it? Not that our family meal time is anything to hold up as an example of extrordinary care time (most days we snip and snap our way through it) but it is still a precious time to me. There's not much hope for a decent meal together over the next few days either, so I'll be carving out some time for us to share around the table, whether we're eating or not!

Sigh

I think of all the things I like the least, a child's funeral has to be at the top of the list (or the bottom, depending on how you look at it). I'd rather have dental work done than have to attend such a sad event. But I can say, that even though we went to the funeral of the child of dear friends of ours, I would not have wanted to be anywhere else today. Ravyn Elaine Hoekstra was laid to rest in Pella, IA. She is survived by her loving parents, Ryan and Kim, an older sister, Nia, and her twin brother, Ryley age 4 months. Ravyn weighed only 2 pounds 12 ounces when she was born, and lived only 4 months and 8 days, but her short life impacted so many for her Creator, in Whose Loving Arms she now rests.
For the complete story, see the CaringBridge website at http://www.caringbridge.org/cb/inputSiteName.do?method=search&siteName=ryleyandravyn. Praising the Savior for what He worked through this wordless one. Thank you for Ravyn, Jesus, we know she's healed, whole and shining for you.

My Dad Got "Published!"

The following is the content of a letter to the editor from my father that was published in the April 10, 2007 issue of the Wichita Eagle

Anti-Christian bias

Regarding the Easter Sunday headline "Faith unshaken: As new findings challenge the resurrection, most Christians say science won't sway their core beliefs" (April 8 Eagle): I find it somewhat ironic that the seeming unquestioned acceptance of a headline-seeking motion picture producer and his cronies is considered science.

Buried in the article was the fact that some serious archaeologists raised strong objections and questions about the research that was behind the spectacular, made-for-TV show.

The obvious bias against the evidence of the historical record -- not only as presented in the Gospels but in masses of literature from the Roman and Greek world of the first and second centuries, much of which was written by those opposed to the new sect that came to be known as Christianity -- is patent in both the documentary and in The Eagle's headline.

There is more manuscript evidence for the resurrection as presented in the Bible than for the existence of Plato.

JERRY M. KEEN Wichita

That's my hero!

Mommy Blessings

Wow, is it ever something to humble you to hear your child pray, then begin weeping during her prayer over her own habit of sin and her inablity to control it. I was able to share from Romans 7 with Leah, explaining to her that even Paul struggled with sin after his miraculous conversion. I also shared with her the great promise of forgiveness and grace that Jesus paid for on the cross. What a blessing! What a kid! What an awesome God I serve!

Cursillo

God is good, even when I don't understand him. But I am in awe of his power and cling fast to his mercy and grace in my life. This past Cursillo was a powerful one for me, I hope I'll never be the same. I ache for boldness to reach above myself to speak for the ONE who gives me life.