All I Have

What have I in this life
But the love in Your eyes
This empty world will one day fade
Only Your truth will remain

Jesus all I have is You
You're the hope I'm holding to
I might weep but still
My faith rests in You
As the heavens hold the skies
It's Your hand that holds my life
And Your love will lead me on
When all else is gone

© 2006 Mercy / Vineyard Publishing
Gabriel Brennan Nate Brennan Tim Dobbelmann

The words of this song speak to me every time I hear them, whatever my circumstances, if I'm feeling blessed beyone measure or abandoned and alone. In the end, I have nothing unless I have Jesus and he has me.

Food for Thought...

...we should always remember that the world is full of polar opposites -- even a battery has a negative post -- and without the negative ground the positive will produce no energy.

--Paul Harrison, February 2008 Reentry AfterCare Report

I'm still digesting this one.

Easter

Rejoice with me, He is Risen, He is Lord!

Looking back, looking forward

Part of the reason I can hold on to hope, loosely some days, more tightly others, is that I can look back on similar circumstances my parents faced when I was a kid. At about this same point in his life, my dad also lost his job--it was actually the second time he'd faced unemployment. I was about the age Hannah is. As a kid, I remember being aware of the situation, but my parents were good at not holding it in my face. I do remember eating what I see now were inexpensive but satisfying meals--mom made rice with raisins which we slathered in butter and brown sugar quite often. But I loved it, so I didn't mind. I know that situation of unemployment ended almost 30 years ago with my dad first landing a temporary position at Cessna Aircraft Company that soon became a permanent position which he held and recently retired from with great honor.
So through looking back, and seeing God's faithfulness to my parents all those years ago and in the years prior and since, I can look forward to the faithfulness God is getting ready to show to my family today. Its the waiting that is difficult, the not knowing the path we'll be put on, the daily trusting the Lord's will in this and all the situations he brings into our lives.

Looking for encouragement? It isn't here...

Yeah, it's a downer title, but it's a downer day. The weather has something to do with it, it's a gloomy one today; I'm sure the hormones have something to do with it, too, they usually do.
Point is, I'm discouraged, and am getting tired of waiting for God's next move. Wonder how often people in the Bible said that? I'm sure that's the inspiration for a lot of the Psalms!
Anyway...that's where today is...

40 Days
(Mark Schultz / Ben Glover)


Lord, I came to the mountaintop
To be with You
I felt Your grace falling down like rain
And I was made new

But there are times like now when I’m all dried out

(Chorus)
And it’s like 40 days out in the desert
Feeling like I’m lost forever
And crying out for You
But in these 40 days I’m going to seek You
With my heart because I believe You
Have brought me to this place
These 40 days

Lord, Your ways are not my own
But I trust You
Lord, You say, “You are not alone,
For I am with you”

But there are times like now when You can’t be found

(Chorus)

‘Cause You are with me
You never leave me
Even when my world turns upside down
‘Cause there are times like now when I will
Trust somehow

(Chorus)

Well, there is a light at the end of the tunnel…I know

A glimpse of comfort

Here's a nugget I'd never found before. It's tucked away in the last chapter of Romans, in amongst Paul remembering who all is "with him" in the faith. It's one of those all-names chapters that I unfortunately skim over or skip to move on to the "good stuff" that's more important. But check out what I have missed all these years by doing that!

20 The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.
The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.

What a shame! But what a joy to find this verse this day at this time when we're feeling pretty pressed down by the deceiver. The promise isn't immediate, but the promise is there, victory over these circumstances is coming. I need to hold on to Jesus' grace and trust God to do the rest. Is that easy? Nope. And some days (okay most days) I'd rather take things into my own hands. But for today, I have this verse. And because this verse is tucked within a bunch of names of people who were with Paul, I'm reminded that there are a bunch of people with me battling alongside us before the throne of grace. Thanks for doing that. Hold tight.

Saturday Morning

It's early for me--for a Saturday. I'm not good at rising with the sun anyway, so Saturdays are sleep in days. But as of the last 3 Saturdays, we've been awake early. Peter has taken on the responsibility of a paper route. It's a weekly delivery, so not as stressful as a daily route, and so far he's doing well. Here he is getting ready to go out into the world for the day.

We're also looking for a bike trailer that he can use to assist in hauling the papers so dad can stay home, anyone have one for sale?

Nothing to report

So there's nothing to report today--I go to work, Mark stays home and looks for jobs wherever he can. We do our best with what we have and we move through our days that way.
Ugh. Now I just heard that the next stop for the presidential campaign is coming soon...so much for the campaign reprieve we were enjoying. (What a bad attitude I have!) But seriously, what can you find out about a candidate from a flashy, well-choreographed commercial? Its like dating, you don't get the full picture from the first few dates. and once you're engaged, you still don't get the full picture. Then it takes a little while into the marriage before you understand just what you have chosen for your life partner. As for me in that regard, I have no regrets, I've committed to life with Mark. The ride hasn't always been picturesque, but it has been interesting and full of love.

working to forgive

Should forgiving be such a difficult thing to do? Is it hard for God? It's hard for me. That's a terrible thing to admit, isn't it? In Matthew, right after teaching his disciples how to pray, Jesus got real specific on why we're to forgive, and it sounds like God will hold back on me if I hold back on someone. That's a tough pill to swallow. I pray for the grace to forgive the deep wounds others are "responsible for" in my life, but I think it will take time, still.
Working through my faith...

Interviewing

As I write this, Mark is 10 or so minutes into a job interview--the second one for this position. He's excited about it, as am I, but we're trying not to get our hopes too high. Our prayer all along has been for clear direction to the right fit for Mark and who God has created him to be. Is this the one? We're seeking discernment to find out. Regardless of the outcome, God is good, and we rest in His provision. He's already come through for us in big ways.

Look what I saw today!!!!

I'd heard rumors of sightings, but you never can be SURE until you see one yourself--a sure sign that spring IS on its way!!!!! Yippee! This is a photo I took out my kitchen window, what a beautiful sight in this area!

Oh, then there's these fun ones of Leah in her room with a few of her favorites...

My Hope (I Am Not Alone)

This is the kind of music I like, thought provoking, and from the heart. The accompanying video is a precious reminder of the reality I live--my Redeemer lives.

The Shack

If you haven't already read it, I recommend that you find a copy of The Shack by William P. Young and do so. I've not finished it yet, but so far am finding it to both challenge and give insights into my perceptions of God and his plan for my life. Our church is using it as a launching pad for small group discussion as well as basing a sermon series on its insights. It's a good read. But a challenging one. You might not agree with all that is inside, but you also might learn something. Click here to go to the website to read an excerpt or two...